I don really giva fck & my excuse is that im young

It’s the question of what makes me different- but that doesn’t make me better than any of you or the rest.  There’s more to this occupation than the people who will love you for it.  There’s more than the privileges, the freedom, the light.  The inspirations are those things you won’t ever be able to see.  Believe me, I’ve been trying to figure it out myself.  But that’s probably what intrigues me so g’damn deeply.  It’s not anything I’m able to grasp- it’s something I feel.  What drives my passion for it will forever be out of everyone else’s sight.  Therefore I can say that everyone else’s opinion doesn’t contribute to this feeling.  It’s a plus, but that’s not what got here me in the first place, and i’ll always remember by why I started doing it.  The ability to change the environment around me.  The countless opportunities. The high without the drugs.  To look around and feel alone in a room of 50.  Can you really feel it?  This is what makes me fuckin’ happy.  When this life gets the best of me, I can depend on it to make me feel better.  It’s deeper than being able to smile.  So happy that my body goes numb and everything else doesn’t matter for those few minutes. Inside this crazy life that I spend pleasing the unappreciative m’fkcers- but I don’t blame them.  I don’t look down on them.  Unappreciative, lightly, interpreted as innocently ignorant to the fact- to the world I’m in at the time.  One day the light will dim, and it won’t be my time.  Maybe it’s soon, maybe it’s later, and that’s okay with me.  I’m down to lend the light over to someone else.  I hope they take it, appreciate it and make memories that last forever.  Cuz this is something that doesn’t take the light to have.  The people are just the subjects of your ability to control and change.  Like I mentioned though, that’s not what got me here in the first place. To be able to sit here, enjoy the work of mindless hours that were put into this work of art- that’s what will work for me.  To free my mind, to rejuvenate my soul, my body. This is what makes me feel like I’m complete.  Eventually, I’ll take them off, and I’m back to reality with the comfort of knowing this won’t… can’t leave me.  Unfortunately, it’s something you’ll never understand.